


The Universe Before Us

by ekb112



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Bonding, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Love, M/M, Post Star Trek: Into Darkness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-21
Updated: 2014-01-21
Packaged: 2018-01-09 12:20:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1145920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ekb112/pseuds/ekb112
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been said that you don't know what you have until it's gone. This is the case for Spock.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Universe Before Us

**Author's Note:**

> First K/S fic! Hope you enjoy!

            “How is he, Doctor?” Spock asked walking up to McCoy’s side.

            McCoy shifted his gaze sideways at Spock before looking back at Jim’s frail figure, lying unconscious in the bed. He let out something of an aggravated huff, but Spock knew it was not directed at him. “For someone who’s just died and come back to life, he’s as good as he can be. Dunno if he’ll ever wake up from this coma. We’ll just have to wait and see if Khan’s blood will actually help the kid.”

            Spock nodded solemnly. Captain James T. Kirk of the USS _Enterprise_ had been in a coma for three-point-two days and had yet to show any signs of improvement.

            “How about you, Spock? Not tryin’ to be mushy, but how’re you doing?”

            “Considering the circumstances, Doctor, I am well,” Spock said without taking his eyes off Jim.

            Turning away from the bed, McCoy crossed his arms and looked Spock square in the face. “You know Spock, if you hadn’t caught the bastard, Jim’d still be dead. You can be a pain in the ass sometimes, but when it comes to Jim’s life…we’ve got you to thank for that.”

            “Negative, as I did not—”

            “Dammit man, I’m trying to thank you. It’d be a hell of a lot easier if you’d just let me.”

            Spock blinked before giving a curt nod and allowing McCoy to continue.

            “Thank you, Spock.” McCoy grunted before turning back to fiddle with the machines at Jim’s side. “If ya don’t mind me asking, what made you stop? How’d ya hold yourself back from killin’ the guy? Khan woulda been dead if it’d been me down there.”

            For a moment, Spock simply stared at the back of the doctor’s head. That was not what he had been expecting to hear come out of McCoy’s mouth, and for once, he was at a loss for words.

            “Spock?” McCoy asked, turning back around. “How’d ya do it?”

            “Had Lieutenant Uhura not been beamed down to stop me, Doctor, I do not doubt that I would have killed Khan.” Spock closed his eyes, and for a moment, was taken back to where he had been four days prior.

~~~

            _“Engineering to bridge,” he heard through the communicator. “Mr. Spock…”_

_“Mr. Scott.”_

_“Sir, you better get down here. Better hurry.”_

_He had no sooner heard the end of the message than he had stood up and started to run. Past a stunned Nyota, down corridors and through doorways that seemed to get smaller with every step he took. When he reached Engineering it took everything in his power not to break through the glass that separated him and his captain._

_He barely heard the words spill from the captain’s mouth. “…How do you choose not to feel?”_

_Spock shook his head. “I do not know... Right now I am feeling.”_

_A silence passed between them before Kirk spoke again. “I need you to know why I couldn’t let you die. Why I went back for you.”_

_Blinking, Spock was startled by the sudden feeling at the front of his brain. He was even more alarmed at the tears falling from his eyes. “Because you are my…friend.”_

_The word wasn’t right. ‘Friend’ would never be the right word to describe what he had with James Kirk. But Jim gave something of a nod as he held his hand up to the glass in the_ ta’al _. The Vulcan salute. Not knowing what to do, Spock held his hand up as well, mimicking the motion._

_He wanted to say something. Anything. But unable to find the words, he simply watched as the light faded from Jim’s electric gaze and his hand fell from the glass._

_At some point, Nyota and Scotty had appeared behind him, but Spock paid no mind to them as he rose to his feet. His grief quickly turned to unadulterated rage, and a single name tore through his vocal chords._

~~~

            It was seven days later when Lieutenant Uhura came to visit not only Jim, but Spock as well. Spock had yet to leave the captain’s side, and Uhura was fairly certain she knew why.

            “Hey,” she said. Spock turned to see the lieutenant leaning against the doorjamb, arms crossed loosely over her chest. She gave an attempt at a smile. Spock found he could not return the gesture.

            “Nyota,” he nodded in greeting. He faced frontward once more, and was not surprised when he felt a hand lightly brush his shoulder. He involuntarily tensed at the touch, and Uhura withdrew quickly.

            “Sorry,” she murmured. She knelt down to Spock’s level and looked him in the eye. “How are you holding up?”

            Spock knew that Uhura was aware of the answer, but he spoke anyways. “As well as one can ‘hold up.’”

            “Spock,” Uhura said, casting her gaze between the captain and her boyfriend, “We need to talk.”

            When Spock looked up at Uhura once more, tears had glazed over her eyes and her features had softened remarkably. “Nyota…”

            “It’s okay,” she said quietly. “I know.”

            “To what, precisely, are you referring?” Spock asked. He tilted his head ever so slightly as one of his eyebrows quirked upward.

            “You’re in love with him,” Uhura shrugged and allowed herself a small smile before wiping absently at the tears that had slipped past her eyes. “It’s okay.”

            Love? Spock was startled to hear the word. Love. He had never contemplated it. He knew well that he held Nyota in high regard. But love? Had he ever even loved Nyota? Did he love Jim Kirk?

            He looked to Jim and felt a swell of warmth flood through him. The captain. _His_ captain. _Jim_.

            Love, he supposed, was something he had seldom felt in his life. He had felt it for his mother, and still did even after her perish with Vulcan. On a rare occasion, he had even felt it for his father.

            But love for Jim?

            When he thought about everything they had been through together, it began to make sense. Despite his initial dislike, there was an element about Jim that had drawn Spock to him. After the Narada incident, something had formed between them. Beyond coworkers. Beyond a relationship as Captain and First Officer. Somewhere during their time together, they had become friends. It had most likely started on the away missions they so often found themselves on together. It had happened in the chess games that had become a weekly ritual between them, whether they were on the _Enterprise_ or not. It had formed through their banter on the bridge. Their discussions of what was logical or illogical. Over the course of everything, a link had been formed.

            Perhaps Spock had been merely blind to it, or perhaps he had always been aware, but had pushed it to the back of his mind, somewhere he would not find it.

            It was of no matter.

            Not now.

            It was only logical.

            Spock was in love with Jim Kirk.

            The reality of the situation hit him hard and square in the chest, and suddenly he found himself struggling to breathe.

            Spock looked to Nyota with wide eyes, not saying anything.

            “Spock?” She asked worriedly. “Spock, are you okay?”

            He blinked, and for the second time in two weeks, tears fell. “No.”

~~~

            From the back of the room, he heard a gasp for air. He looked up sharply and saw Jim with his eyes open, and Dr. McCoy already standing over him with a tricorder. Spock did nothing but stare at Jim until he heard him say “How’d you catch him?”

            He watched the doctor as he shrugged and moved to the other side of the bed. “I didn’t.”

            And then, for the first time in fourteen-point-two-nine days, Jim’s blue gaze met Spock’s. It was the same as it had always been. Bright, willing, and full of promise. Jim smiled, and Spock felt a sudden surge of affection for the captain.

            Spock walked forward, only stopping when he was right at Jim’s side.

            “You saved my life,” Jim breathed.

            “Uhura and I had something to do with it too, you know,” McCoy grumbled from the other side of the bed. Jim ignored the doctor and looked at Spock expectantly.

            Unsure of what to say, Spock answered with, “You saved my life, Captain, and the lives of the oth—”

            “Spock, just…” Jim cut him off. “Thank you.”

            Spock inclined his head. “You are welcome, Jim.”

            Jim smiled again before looking to the doctor. “Bones,” Jim managed, “Can you give us a minute?”

            Dr. McCoy looked down at Jim and grunted. “Dammit man, you just woke up from a coma. You need to be under intensive care and—”

            “ _Bones,_ ” Jim said, giving his friend a stern look.

            Relenting, McCoy set down his tricorder and turned to leave, but not before looking at Spock and warning him with a “Don’t let him do anything stupid.”

            “Your threat is unnecessary, Doctor.”

            “I beg to differ,” the doctor grumbled, and walked out of the room, mumbling to himself the whole time.

             “Sit down, Spock,” he heard Jim say. He looked down to see that the captain had moved his legs over so there was room sufficient enough for Spock to sit down on the bed.

            “I prefer to stand, Captain,” Spock said stiffly.

            “We’re off duty. Call me Jim.” Jim managed to sit himself up more before motioning to the open space on the bed. “Sit. That’s an order.”

            Spock sat down obligingly, but not before bringing up the fact that the captain had just explained they were not on duty. When Jim gave him an annoyed look, Spock relented and settled into his new spot.

            “How are you feeling Cap—Jim?” Spock asked, catching himself.

            “Not too shabby for having the blood of a psycho-killer in me,” Jim laughed to himself and a crinkle appeared around his eyes as he smiled. “How about you Spock?”

            “Captain… _Jim_. I do not believe my wellbeing is relevant to the situation at this point in time,” Spock said, giving Jim a pointed look.

            . “Your wellbeing is always relevant, Spock,” Jim said, almost too harshly as he caught Spock’s hand in his own. A wave of something new rushed through Spock before he quickly withdrew his hand, startled at the motion.

            “Sir?” Spock said, clasping his hands together tightly in his lap.

            Jim sighed before tentatively reaching out and brushing his First Officer’s arm. Spock allowed the touch this time and relished at the feeling. “Do you remember when I asked about going back for you in the volcano on Nibiru? Why I couldn’t let you die?” Jim murmured, his words barely audible.

            Spock nodded as the horrible scene filled his head again, taking him right back to the chamber that separated him from his captain.

            “You told me,” Jim continued, pulling Spock from his reverie, “That it was because we’re friends.”

            Spock nodded again and watched Jim intently.

            “You were wrong,” Jim said, moving his gaze down to the blankets. “It wasn’t because we were friends.”

            “Captain,” Spock said, immediately reverting to formality, “I apologize if I was under the wrong impress—”

            “Lemme finish, Spock,” Jim said. He reached for his hand again, and this time, despite the initial overwhelming feeling, Spock let him take it. “You were wrong. I didn’t go back for you because we’re friends. I went back for you, because we’re so much more than that.”

            “Jim?” Spock said carefully, his eyebrows sweeping upward.

            Jim let out something of a strangled laugh. “I’m sorry,” he said quietly, “I know you’re with Uhura, and I know it doesn’t make sense. Well, maybe not to you, anyways. But it makes sense to _me_.” He motioned between them with his free hand. “ _This_ makes sense to me.”

            Spock said nothing.

            “God…Spock,” Jim groaned, “I—I’ve been in love with you for forever. It’s ridiculous, actually, because you’re completely infuriating. Always questioning me and trying to understand my logic. You drive me crazy. And not always in a good way. I don’t know when it happened, but despite everything, I fell for you. And that totally sucks, because I _know_ you’re with Uhura and—”

            Spock leaned forward and cut him off by crushing their mouths together. He lost himself in the sensation as he felt Jim respond. Fingers curled into his hair and tugged gently. They warred over who would control before coming to a silent conclusion that there would be equal effort on both parts. He let himself be tugged closer to his partner’s body, and reveled in the feeling of being this close to Jim.

            When they pulled back, both flushed and gasping for air, it was Spock who spoke first. “Lieutenant Uhura and I terminated our relationship three-point-seven-four days ago,” he said matter-of-factly.

            Jim was silent before he let out a laugh. “Really?”

            “Vulcans do not lie.”

            “Why’d you guys break up?” Jim asked, smoothing his hands through the Vulcan’s hair absently.

            “It became apparent to Nyota that my feelings for her were no longer of romantic inclination, and instead have been redirected at someone else.”

            “And who’s that?” Jim queried.

            Spock rose an eyebrow and gave Jim a look. When Jim smiled at him, Spock felt his heart swell with—what he now knew was— love. “ _Th’y’la,_ ” Spock murmured. Friend, brother, lover.

            “What’s that mean?” Jim asked.

            He would explain it later, so for now, Spock settled with an answer he thought clarified the word just as well before leaning down to kiss Jim again. “You.”

~~~

            A year passed. After the _Enterprise_ had been restored to her former glory, she was ready for the start of her five year mission. Spock now sat at the science station, and allowed himself the smallest of smiles when he heard Ensign Chekov say, “Keptin on ze bridge!” He watched as Jim got status reports and updates from various members of his crew.

When his name was called from the Captain’s Chair, Spock got up, and holding a PADD behind his back, went to stand next to his husband, his bondmate, his _th’y’la_.

            _Are you ready, Ashayam?_ Spock asked through their bond. It was beautiful and vibrant. A ribbon that connected them to one another. Never and always touching and touched.

              _Yeah_. Jim answered. _Are you?_

 _Affirmative._ Spock projected love, warmth and encouragement into the bond, and knew by the smile that crossed Jim’s face that he had received it.

            _Hey_. Jim thought to Spock. _I love you._

_And I you, Ashayam._

_We’ve got the whole universe before us_. Jim thought. _Think we can handle it?_

            Spock couldn’t help but smile. _If we are together, Th’y’la,_ Spock answered, _It is only logical that we can handle anything_.


End file.
